Who is Mary Brehm? Some know her as Mare Bear, more know her as The Hott 1, but who is she really? But behind the nicknames and caffeine-fueled social calendar is someone deeply thoughtful, ambitious, and—despite her protests—more introspective than she lets on.

Staying true to our decades-long friendship, Mary catered to my needs by meeting me at my favorite place: my home. She arrived in her signature uniform—athletic wear, hair in a ponytail, and her trusty Rodan + Fields puffer jacket—fully embodying her essence: consistently laid-back and up for anything. I had sent her a list of questions beforehand, hoping she’d have some time to reflect. She came over after two coffee dates that morning. That’s right, people. I was her third appointment of the day, all before her actual workday had even begun. My girl stays booked, busy, and out of the house—something I admire and one day hope to emulate. She walked in hyped, cautious, but ready: “I don’t know if it’s the caffeine making me nervous or the fact that this is the most introspective I’ve ever been in my life… I don’t have any thoughts, just vibes.”

So, where do we begin? Childhood, of course! She was a towheaded, strong-willed, in-constant-motion kid. “My mom used to say I ran around naked all the time for attention,” she admitted, which pretty much summed up her pre-middle-school self. Wild and free, she ruled her little world with unshakable confidence. But as she got older, she realized—just maybe—other people had wisdom to offer, too. Looking back, the biggest piece of advice she’d give young Mary? “Be nicer to Mom & Dad. They mean the best. You actually don’t know shit!” Something I’m sure Jill and Phil would be thrilled to hear. While she has mellowed out in some aspects, that effervescent spirit has been a consistent through line in her personality.

She always had big dreams, starting with an ambitious career path as a pizza delivery driver/doctor. A true innovator. While she (tragically) did not follow through on this groundbreaking service model, she did find her way to her dream field: formulation chemistry. The work clicked immediately. A lifelong science lover, she thrives on the hands-on, creative aspects of the job. “I get very bored easily and if I’m bored I’m over it…so being thrown into the fire, I learned a lot. With that fight or flight situation, I thought, alright we’re in this, I’m fighting for it.” Thrown into the fire, she embraced the challenge, pushing herself to learn and adapt. Every day brings something different, keeping her interested, invested, and fully in her element.

That said, she quickly learned, “there is no glory in the lab.” The behind-the-scenes nature of formulation work left her wanting more, so she pursued product development. Now, as a technical lead, she gets to see projects through from start to finish—shaping everything from the product’s look and feel to its application and marketing. It’s a role that blends her love for science with big-picture strategy, making sure the final product isn’t just effective, but compelling. Her leadership style is collaborative, rooted in respect for every expert involved. Having started in the lab herself, she values a work environment where all perspectives are heard and the best ideas win.

But here’s the thing: work isn’t everything. Mary has learned that balance is key. She credits much of her personal and professional growth to her strong support system of family and friends—the ones who challenge her, expand her perspective, and, when necessary, force her out of her comfort zone. “I’ve gotta do this for the plot,” she jokes, embracing the idea that life should be as fun as it is fulfilling. She also credits her husband, Daniel, for showing her the ropes in how to approach work from a balanced perspective. She made a cross-country move to live with him when the pandemic started and was able to see a new way to do things, and not stress for hours about what is coming down the pipeline - “He taught me work does not have to be my number one activity”.

And while she might not consider herself a hobbyist, she’s an incredible baker (arguably an incredible hobby that we all can benefit from). Growing up, she was the mastermind behind tie-dye cakes and dangerously good cookie dough-stuffed brownies. These days, she’s been perfecting her bread making skills, turning out gorgeously fluffy loaves that make you question every store-bought bread round you’ve ever eaten.

**she is and will always be The Hott 1!! and now has a sweater to prove it, embroidered by yours truly!**

Now, at 35 (which she has wrongly described as “approaching middle age”), she’s looking ahead to new chapters. She and her husband have been kicking around the idea of moving to a new city. She has also realized that there is more to life than pursuing her career, now she wants to meet life with a more well-balanced approach. Being successful in her field, but also prioritizing building her community and deepening her relationships.

One thing she’s especially passionate about? Trees. Specifically, saving them. With rapid development in Charlotte, historic trees are being cut down at an alarming rate, and she wants to do something about it. There is some hesitation in her to fully commit to an activity where she does not know what to expect, a pretty common blocker for many of us, but there will never be regret in pursuing things that matter to you.Taking the first step, she and I have committed to volunteering with Trees Charlotte, a nonprofit dedicated to preserving the city’s greenery. If you’re in the area, consider joining us!

So no, she didn’t end up as a pizza-delivering doctor. But Mary is still delivering—whether it’s groundbreaking products, fresh-baked bread, or soon, a little more green to Charlotte’s skyline.

I have included some of our conversation here, in case you’d love to hear the beautiful voice of The Hott 1, in which you may notice that I continue to push my Morning Pages agenda on my newly introspective pal :)